THE FIGURINE

                                                        

It took another four years. The last time I watched a Nigerian movie which made a lot of sense was in 2008 and that was “Jennifer”. After an interminable wait, I eventually watched “The Figurine”. The movie was worth every second of the wait, it was of the first water, a master piece.

How I usually know that a movie has gotten to me is when it hangs like a sweet mist over the evergreen consciousness of my mind and refuses to dissipate with the winds of time. This flick was that and much more, about top-notch in every department. The blend of Yoruba and English is smooth on the palate of the senses like the taste of Kopi luwak coffee on the tongue (I love movies where traditional languages are mixed with English, they are usually a delightful cocktail).

Paradoxically I found Kunle Afolayan’s languid insouciance refreshing, Omoli Oboli’s uxorial personality was so endearing. I have never been a fan of Ramsey Noah but after seeing the ease with which he metamorphosed from a sick nerd to a stone cold gentleman, I can’t stop doffing my heart. But the butter icing on the cake for me was Funlola Aofiyebi-Raimi; she was like pounded fresh green pepper that makes a meal of fresh palm oil and roasted yam absolutely delicious. Her diction soothes the ossicles like a cool shower on a hot humid day. Needless to say, I fell in love.

The drama was a moving gallery exhibiting African art; I particularly liked the tie and dye “buba and sokoto” that Mr. Afolayan wore when he and Ramsey went into the jungles of Araromire to return the figurine to its resting place. The subtitling was also done pretty well, a resounding message to Nollywood Yoruba movie producers who cannot subtitle their productions to save their lives. I wonder how they are able to thrive in the international market since no one will be able to follow their story lines intelligently. We need to take a cue from other countries like South Korea where an epic/classic like “Jumong” has flawless subtitling.  You don’t have to understand the language to understand its unfolding plot.
 
The only blip on the scintillating screen of their performance was the club Ramsey and Funlola had their night out. The place was too juvenile and common for such a classy duo.

The figurine could also be likened to a flowing brook filled with precious stones and the nuggets below were some of the gems I panned out of it.

The god araromire was made out of the bark of a cursed tree and it ultimately brings pain to its worshippers after an initial seven years of prosperity.  The earth is cursed and irrespective of how much happiness we get from its endowments, the elation wears off after a while. Sometimes they even bring unhappiness. The euphoria of getting the latest car, phone or the best house in the neighborhood diminishes with time and by seven years might even cause embarrassment compared to the ones that are up to date then. That is why people who manipulate and kill others for earthly gains are so FOOLISH because they will eventually get their comeuppance.

From the onset it was so clear that Omoni Oboli was making the mistake of her life by marrying Kunle Afolayan. They were not compatible; he was too unserious for her. Till tomorrow, I still wonder why everybody but the lady who makes the mistake of marrying the wrong dude can see that she is walking into a dark pit occupied by a black mamba. She lost her life for that mistake. How many ladies keep losing their limbs, lives, destiny for this error? It is quite disheartening!
 
The flippancy with which ladies get into relationships with guys they don’t know diddly squat about the way Funlola Raimi threw herself at Ramsey Noah is mindboggling. This rush in the name of an increasing age number is as foolish as a prospector leaving everything he has acquired in a life time for an imaginary gold rush and ending up with nothing but sand trickling through his fingers. For some it’s like committing suicide at twilight after waiting for so many years with your knight in shining armour galloping in to see you dead at dawn. It is not worth it. Ask Funlola Raimi, she almost paid with her life for the desperation of having a marriage ring on her finger.

What was wrong with my brother Ramsey Noah, why could he not just go for the ring of the Saturn of his heart? He watched the light of the castle of his affection dim without trying to ignite her fire. His love rode into the sunset with another man until all he had in his embrace was the cold feeling of regret. For crying out loud, what makes some homies not go after the ladies they love? Ramsey’s inaction was what led to all the trouble in the first place. This is not just all about love though, in every area of life, please folks, let’s seize the day! CARPE DIEM!

One other thing that struck me was how the Afolayans ran from pillar to post in search of a solution to the problems plagueing them but could not zero in to the panacea of liberation. That’s is so typical of life where dehydrated people settle for dwindling streams of brackish water instead of slaking their thirst with the crystal clear Spring of living waters.

But most importantly, what kind of god will make its people flourish for seven years of plenty, then destroy them. That is how the gods of this world are; they give with one hand and collect with another. They are evil and mean, ugly and wicked. They demand for human sacrifices, feed on blood and revel in destruction. Thankfully our God is not like that. He drips with love, his affection for us is overwhelming, all His gifts are good and perfect. An ancient Hebrew king said the Lord is good and he doeth good. His mercies endure forever. His thoughts towards us are precious, we can never number them, and beside them the numbers of the sands on the seashore seem countable. While others seek for the sacrifice of their followers, He readily sacrificed Himself. Behold what manner of love this King has for us. It is totally amazing. What great devotion from He who is so uncontainable that He can never be captured by a figurine.

THE BLESSING OF THE LORD IT MAKETH RICH AND ADDETH NO SORROWS TO IT!!!

THE PARODY OF OCCUPYING NIGERIA

                                                                        

I got much needed rest. It was a much needed one considering I live and work right in the heart of the maelstrom called Lagos. The one week that was used to occupy Nigeria afforded me that opportunity. I also used that week to navigate the crystal clear waters of African literature. The long draught I took from the spring of Buchi Emecheta’s “Double Yoke” was quite refreshing. It highlighted the fact that some of the things that have tormented Nigeria are still so much around after 30yrs and more.

The fact that Nigerians came out en masse to protest against our mediocre government for a full week and were spoiling to continue thereafter is one of the rare times I have ever felt so cool about Naija. This was to the chagrin of our so called leaders who felt that we are too complacent to fight for justice. To me it was a rally against fifty years of being fed with rubbish and considering the protest came like six weeks after my post THE GREEN LANTERN CORPS, I felt as pleased as a cat stuffed with prime cream.

But as the weeks rolled by, the whole thing kept rolling through my mind like cud being ruminated in the guts of a Hereford bull.  I went down deep into my mind like a scuba diver searching for pearls and the nugget I came away with is that the whole occupancy was an ELABORATE CHARADE, WAY before Nigerian Labour Congress sold out.

Truth is we were railing against leaders who are corrupt and selfish but these people are not Martians; they are a cross section of our society. They were picked from within us. They are part of us. Thing is if a something goes wrong with a cake, leaving some parts of it edible, all will concur that something that the cake has gone bad. If part of the human body is ill, then the whole body is sick. You don’t point just point a guilty finger to the liver or the kidney as the malfunctioning parts. A doctor tried to save the whole body. Something went terribly wrong with Nigeria a long time ago.

A few months back I went with the marketing team of my organization to sell a product to a tertiary institution and we met the student union, young students in their late teens and early twenties who called us after the presentation to ask for millions of naira in bribe before they can give us the contract. I later learnt that the same scenario occurred with the other companies prospecting with us. They were looking for the highest bidder and were not even interested in who would offer the best health services to their colleagues.

We live in a country where people take money and don’t give the services they were paid for, commercial drivers knowing well enough that their vehicles aren’t good take fares from passengers then drop them in the middle of nowhere, the huge branded transport companies do the same, administrative officers inflate prices of diesel, fuel and other things until they cripple an establishment, drug peddlers supply fake drugs in the bid of making quick bucks, politicians shed innocent blood to win elections (this one really gets me, these mean guys decry a fuel hike of a few hundreds but will be comfortable spilling invaluable blood, it’s a crazy joke). I heard about a local government Chairman who instead of filling the local dispensaries with drugs got his own home and filled it with a fleet of cars within six months. Of course he made some of his godfathers richer in the process. This country is filled with jokers worse than the one in Gotham city but sadly enough Batman is hardly in sight yet. Most of these people played an active part in the occupy Nigeria riots. It does not take a genius to know that these folks will do the same thing if they were in the position of the people they are fighting. It occurred to me that what most of these people fight is being on the receiving end of the system and not the system.

It has happened over and over again in human history; the Bolsheviks fought against and toppled the ruling class in Russia but caused the people more pain than they suffered in the time of the Czars. Uncle Mugabe did the same in Zimbabwe. Thing is you cannot fight fire with fire; a different entity with dissimilar characteristics is needed. You cannot be corrupt and fight a corrupt system. You fight fire with water, hate with love, and ignorance with knowledge etcetera.

For Jesus to beat the world’s system, He had to be at odds with the system and that is why He kept saying he was not a part of this world. He said the Prince of this world could not find anything in him. He was at variance with the logical order he came to destroy. The Galilean also told his disciples that they were in the world but not a part of it. That the government of that age could not stop their movement is not in any way surprising.

We need a different kind of men to change things, if not we can occupy Nigeria until hell freezes into an ice cold mountain range. All we will achieve will be going round in circles like a game of ring around the roses until we all get blue in the face and fall down in exhaustion.

It is written that “the log must be pulled out of our eyes before we can objectively see the speck in another’s”. This is the only way that occupying Nigeria would work and we might never even have to take to the streets ever again. Since the chosen will always be one of us, let the change begin with you and me. Let the revolution start within us. LET US START BY OCCUPYING OURSELVES.

DON’T CONFORM TO THE WORLD’S WAY OF DOING THINGS, BUT BE TRANSFORMED BY THE RENEWING OF YOUR MINDS, THAT YOU MIGHT KNOW THE GOOD, PERFECT AND ACCEPTABLE WILL OF GOD.